Closed a door...

 Today I closed a door, a chapter.  I said good bye to my first medical professional job after 6.5 years.  I pulled my last total knee case, I clocked out for the last time and turned in my badge.  I walked through the door as an employee for the last time.  When I was cleaning out my locker I found my orientation folder, August 2015.  I learned so much from so many people and for that & them, I am grateful.  I made many friends and will forever think about those smart a$$ comments and conversations we shared.  The many late night surgeries, many meals we sat down to.  The " I love you but I do not wanna see you again tonight" ritual sayings before we would leave on call day. So many laughs and tears.  

With all of my health issues going on right now, I felt it best to close this door to give me time to figure some of it out.  I have a few more appointments to tackle and some game plans in store.  I thought I would be stressed to the max over this decision but I was at peace with it.  I'm not saying it's not gonna be tough for the next few weeks with only one income, but I am not worried.  God has lined up so much for us in the past few months that this doesn't seem like a loss to me, it's a gain in the right direction.  

My mental health has been suffering for some time and for once in many years I feel ok for this next step.  The next few weeks I'll focus on me...Me getting better, me getting right with myself and me feeling better for my family.  I am positive that God would not have steered me down this path if he didn't think I could handle it.  It's crazy how things have just fallen into place, how could I not be optimistic!  I prayed hard and every time I did, something would be right there in my face telling me which path to take.  You know that saying "I looked up at God and said I knew that was you, thank you", I have had that realization alot lately.  I just sit back and Thank God for showing me and pushing me to go down each correct path.  I really thought I would be terrified to take this step, but I am not, not at all!  Everything will work out and we are going to be fine.  I am going to be fine!  

I know I may have disappointed some people, but I can't make everyone happy, I'm not a taco! (If we worked together you know this reference).  Some people are put into our lives to help us up, some are put there to break us and show us what we are made of.  I've met both of those in this journey of medicine and this is me doing me now.  I know all jobs have bad seeds and I get that, I do, but there's a cycle that I needed to break and that was thinking I was not good enough for certain people.  So it's on to new people, a new start, a new cycle!  I can't talk about my new start quite yet but believe me when I say dreams come true!  This next chapter has been my dream since I was a little girl and I can not wait for it.  

...one door closed so one could open...