who am I

i am a country girl at heart...
i am a mother...
i am passionate about so many things...
i am a wife...
i am a daughter..
i am a granddaughter....
i am a sister.....
i am a best friend.....
i am a believer....
i am a dreamer...
i am a tatoo lover...
i am a creator...
i am a home keeper...
i am a big thinker....
i am a mess....
i am an emotional wreck....
i am happy....
i am shy....
i am loud....

i believe in the love of two souls can overcome almost anything
i believe GOD keeps us going day to day, he gives us the strength
i believe in the good of people, almost too much to see their ugliness
i believe the love of a child is the most unconditional, irrational, chaotic, soothing love there is
i believe dreams can come true sometimes
i believe you can do anything if you pray, hope and have enough faith
i believe the ocean is the best thinking place
i believe people are put in your life to teach you a lesson, i wanna keep learning
i believe i think far too much and forget to enjoy life

i love tatoos on my body, it's my expression of ME
i love cuddling with my babies
i love cuddling with my <3 p="p">i love playin in the mudd with great friends
i love a good country song that brings new meaning to your life
i love a good song that brings tears to your eyes because you've lived it
i love a good wedding
i love creating things
i love to watch my babies sleep or do anything at all
i love the feeling of a good kiss and a hug from my hubby
i love to bake / cook
i love the crisp clean air of fall / winter, like a time to start over
i love a good hot summer day in the water & sun
i love a good bargain and the rush it gives
i love making people laugh

i fear losing my babies before its time, time in which we don't even know anything about
i fear losing love
i fear not being liked
i fear not being able to do for myself
i fear not pleasing someone
i fear no one cares
i fear being the butt of a bad joke (bullying)
i fear not growing old with my loves
i fear AMERICA not being a free world for my children or their children
i fear GOD will take me too early, before i have lived my fullest life
i fear losing my close family, the ones that are there no matter what, whenever (friends included)
i fear i won't live my dreams

i am me
 

day 5 of the 10 day you challenge



 

day #5 of 10 day challenge!
( i missed a few days, tryin to catch up)
 

 

this one is about the 5 foods I love

 

1. 

 Pasta is my weakness, not good for me but I'll cave for a scrumptous pasta dish.

 

2. 

 Seafood ~ crab, lobster, fish, shrimp~ nuff said !

 

3. 

Pizza.....a good pizza (usually veggies of some sort) my absolute fave is spinach and tomato !

 

4. 

Steak ----a yummo medium cooked steak is another absolute fave..yes it may still be a bit bloody but it's tender and oh so good (a trait I think I inherited from my Grandpa, he loved a "juicy" steak)

 

5.  

Venison , hell yeah a down to earth country girl loves her deer meat...it's even better when its her kill, which I got to experience last winter...can't wait to do it again ! with mashed taters and gravy...

Monday menu

day 6 of the 10 day YOU challenge

day 6 is comprised of places I would love to visit

 

one

I'd love to go to Italy, to eat real italian food and see the landscape

 

two

Austrailia is another place I would love to be, only on the beach by that beautiful ocean

 

three

hawaii !  I think that's a given, it's gorgeous (most parts)

 

four

I visited Maine 13 years ago but I would love to go back, it's so pretty ! 

 

five

Paris, France, seriously I think anyone knows why this is  a desire.  coffee shops, eiffel tower, amore !

 

 

six

DisneyWorld with my kids !

10 DAY "YOU" CHALLENGE, DAY 7

7 WANTS IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER AT ALL:

 

one

 i want to finish school & begin my dream job in medicine as a surgical technician, assisting doctors in surgeries !

 

two

  i want my babies to be loved by all, successful, healthy, sublimly happy

 

three

 i want a bigger house on a beautiful piece of land with 4 bedrooms (1 for my guests) and 4-1/2 bathrooms (so we all have our own bathrooms & the guests too, with a 1/2 bath in my mudd room), a large open living room, kitchen, dining room (for entertaining & so everyone is together), a mudd / laundry room for our dirty shoes to stay in, a large backyard & deck with a pool and entertaining area equipped with a covered backyard kitchen and bbq area so everyone that comes over is occupied and having fun. beautifully decorated with plants and flowers & trees for some more shade

 

four

  i want to be able to live comfortably, without the struggle and stress of trying to "figure it all out"and enough money at the end of the month, not too much month at the end of the money.

 

five

  i want to live a long, fun, happy, healthy life

 

six

  i want to travel , travel, travel & be able to affordably enojoy it

 

seven

 i want to be able to shop shop shop and never have a limit (yeah this one is unattainable unless i win the lottery, which is another thing i want)

10 secrets, 9 loves, 8 fears

a challenge from my sister in law

10 secrets in no particular order:

1.  I secretly wanna write a novel ( a really good one)
2.  I sneak an extra cookie or 2 every once in a while after they have just come out of the oven
3.  I feel guilty if I indulge to much in yummy food, straight to the gut and hips I tell ya
4.  I like my steak to be a lil red in the middle (guess it's the Hoelscher curse, lol)
5.  I say hello to my Grandpa each and every time I pass the cemetery he's buried in (to myself)
6.  I would love to open a coffe house / bakery / boutique all in one
7.  I put on a concert in my car with the radio blaring and of course only if no one is in there
8.  Sometimes I wish I could have one more baby but that's just not possible without adoption or surrogacy which can be expensive
9.   Wanna live by the ocean on an exotic island
10.  Want to move my lil family from CC but secretly am terrified of leaving the rest of  my family here because I wouldn't have help with the kids and no quiet time


9 loves

1. good music(what I think is good, not particularly what everyone else thinks is good)
2. My lil family !
3. vanilla coke
4. Italian and seafood
5. fattening junk food
6. a good workout when I have the energy
7. a good hug
8. LIFE
9. money

8 fears

1. that my children will be left without their mother or father
2. that I will lose one of my children to anything
3. I'll never accomplish my dreams of working in the hospital
4. my childrens' first heartbreak ( and any other ones after that)
5. my children being hurt in any way at all
6. not losing weight
7. being thought of as a bad person (selfish, petty, vain, stuck up)
8. fear itself !

Kylie's first day of 2nd grade

bring on the water works...Um grab a tissue

 

Today my baby girl has taken yet another step towards growin up, she is now a 2nd grader.  I didn't shed a tear this morning surprisingly, I think I was too busy getting everyone where they needed to be and me getting to work close enough to on time as possible.  Yet again I'm moving to fast to stop and enjoy the few moments I have with my kids. Kylie tries to be super strong for me and I know today she wanted to cry but she didn't , she sucked it up and took on the day. I hated leaving her but couldn't let her know that. If I didn't have to take Maverick to school too, at another school, I would've lingered with her for a few minutes and helped her adjust more.  I guess I just expect her to be more grown up because she's a girl.  Sometimes I don't let her act like a kid, I grew up so fast so I expect her to do the same thing. 

To My daughter, my mini me, it breaks my heart to drop you off at school, a new teacher and new classmates ( days like this, I miss Miss Power). I know you were so scared but chose to deal with that fear head on like such a big girl.  I visited during lunch and you were so happy to have had a great morning and that I can actually have lunch with you, every day if you wanted.  I can't belive you are in 2nd grade already and 7 years old.  It seems like yesterday I was praying God would grace us with a baby, healthy and happy.  Here you are so grown up and beautiful!  I am such a proud mommy.  You amaze me daily and I am so blessed to have such an amazing baby girl (you'll always be my baby girl).  I love you baby girl, keep your head up and you'll make it through the days. 

P.S. I can't wait to see you dance again, dance starts next week

To my rugged lil boy, a mini daddy.  I know you are so scared still when I have to leave you at school and I'm so sorry but you do have to go.  Daddy tells me you're a boy so I shouldn't baby you, but tough luck daddy, I will baby you till you push me away and even then it'll annoy you.  I love you with all of my heart and am so proud of you.  You are learning so much even though you won't admit it.  I know you are in great hands this year with Mrs. Wolf, she's an amazing person so I know in my heart she takes care of you.  I know you love school, I can see it on your face when you talk about it, but you won't actually say it cause you're a boy and boys have to sound tough.  It kills me when you cling to my leg and tell me you don't want me to go everyday, but I fight back the tears, cause believe me I do wanna cry and hold you and stay all day, but I have to hand you over to school for those few hours.  Every mommy goes through it and every child as well.  I wish you could just magically learn it all and not have to go to school but your lil brain needs to learn it all in steps.  I love you more than you'll ever know!

P.S. I'll see you after nap, everyday!

 

LIFE AS I KNOW IT IS...FULL OF FIRSTS AND HARD DAYS, BUT WE'RE STRONG AND WILL MAKE IT THROUGH.....I LOVE YOU KIDDOS!

 

Grandpa

10 years ago today we were planning on bringing you a bunch of balloons and a cake for your birthday. I remember sitting there in your hospital room with aunt Valerie and we were plotting this big party (of course it'd be big look at our family) and were pretty excited about it. We were so sure you were listening and not liking it at all but that's just how we were, go big or go home! Then we all went home with our jobs for the next day, who was bringing what. After midnight I got the horrible, most devastating news ever, that god finally took you back. My life had changed with that one phone call. The next few days were a blur and I was very upset as no one in the family would let me help with or do anything in any kind of planning. See they saw me as just another grandkid and that's it. No body knew exactly what you were to me. I didn't just lose a grand father, I lost the one constant as a father figure in my life. You were the one helping me with my homework daily (math lessons on the kitchen cabinet still is one of my best homework memories), you were the one who talked to me like a father should, you were the one teaching me life lessons and disciplining me like a father should. You were the one giving me big hugs everyday. You were the one dancin with me on Saturday mornings to polka. You made it to my high school graduation and every queens contest and helped me with livestock show each year along with mom. I cherish every second of time I had with you. I hate that you couldn't be there when I walked down the isle and I so wish you were here today for your great grandchildren that ask about you pretty often. We have pictures of you and take them to your headstone. I'm sure you know this as you are with us even though we can't see you. When I need someone to help guide me or take care of me I always ask that you and god are there and I know you are. It's not fair that your great grandchildren don't get to spend their summers with you building things. It's not fair that they have to know you in pictures, that maverick can't shake your hand and you can't teach him the art of woodwork. It's not fair that Kylie can't dance with you because as I'm sure you know that girl loves to dance and twirl. They would love you as much as I do I know it. There's not a day that goes by that you aren't on my mind. You're in my heart always. I'm saddened cause my kids do not get to experience the love of a grandfather like I did. But I am at peace knowing you are looking over them and protecting them. Be their conscience and help them to make good decisions as they get older. Tonight we will all go to church and celebrate your life without you physically there but I know you will be there in spirit sitting next to your beautiful wife, smiling upon all of us there. I love you and miss you everyday.

lovin' some sand and sun....

the beach is where kylie and i were yesterday ... it was truly relaxing and just what i needed! there was no seaweed like usual, the water wasn't freezing, the waves were beautiful and the abundance of surfers enjoying those waves was magnificant... the headache that decided to pop up was very unwelcomed and sadly ruined the rest of the day for me, but the time i got to spend with my daughter playin in the waves was absolutely wonderful...i can't wait till i can do that more often (days off)...i love looking out over the ocean and knowing there is so much out there to discover, it totally amazes me...we don't go to the beach often enough but when we do it's so freeing and exhilarating....

where oh where .....

the fog my brain won't get out of

ever feel as if your brain has gone on vacay ? i have felt this way for a few months now and i'm so over it already. you momma's know what i'm talking about, the "pregnancy fog" that every non momma believes does NOT exsist, they say it's just an excuse (just wait they'll get it soon enough), well yes it sure does and apparently the more pregnancies you have the more likely it is to NOT lift...

 i used to be so organized (to my standards anyway) and had it all together. lately i feel like i don't ever know what day it is and forget about planning stuff. people would come to me to help plan things, ask my advice etc. ..ha that has long been forgotten . my list's don't get done simply cause i do not make them anymore. my thoughts have left the head! i mentioned a day ago in my blog that all my thoughts and ideas are jumbled up in my head, well yeah they are cause i forget them or they get stored to far in the back that they are closed. this fog that won't lift pulls me into a deep "ugh" feeling ( my infamous ugh, is not a wonderful place), the feeling of a funk coming on, washing me out to the rest of civilization, the mood swing no one wants to receive. i do not like feeling this way and try to pull out of it. use to i could just push it aside and pre occupy myself with something but that doesn't happen anymore. i feel so useless and helpless. we don't talk about this feeling, but refer to it as just that. 

there are so many things i would love to do but they don't get done or started. that doesn't make me too chipper. i've read all of these blogs of how people are so happy and creative, I WANT THAT. i wanna feel like i can create things with no avail. i want a good challenge, yes that's what i need a good challenge to get my mind pulling my ideas out of the filing cabinet. to get my mind juices flowin. it doesn't matter what the idea is it needs to be executed,,,,,,now !

a moment of clarity needs to come to me ! (soon)

the clarity i need

 

the holidays are coming, the holidays are coming....

i can't believe that it's the middle of august and i'm so ready for the holidays to be here.

i think it's becuase i'm done with this scorching heat and want the coolness here, now! as i was sitting down at my desk this morning on of my favorite (to look at) magazines was laying there, staring at me.  ABC Distributing, i never buy anything from them but love to look and write down everything i want from it.  they always have cutesy stuff that i would really never put in my house but just like to dream. then it hit me, more so now, that the holidays will literally be here sooner than later.  it's that part of the year that just hauls ass , like a roller coaster that takes forever (or it seems that way) to get up that incline (January - JUly) then once it hits that just about over the hill spot (august), it takes a mad dash down the hill (September - December), then it's all over.  you spend the year preparing for it all and then it's over.  i can't wait though, every year it is so exciting to look at ideas for decorations for halloween - christmas.  there are so many crafty ideas swimming in my head, things are getting jumbled in there. i refuse to buy many things this year (as i say every year) because I WILL make more and enjoy making it all. after all isn't it "the thought that counts...." I think if i spend time making something for someone it is better appreciated knowing it came from the heart and hands rather than the rack / shelf of some stupid mass produced store. i want my kids to learn that "the thought" that is put into something far outweighs the time it took to pick it out of a store, in which the person could potentially end up with 3 others of the same thing............. 

Maverick started pre-k4

nature's beauty

fall colors are so refreshing

can not wait for fallin leaves

crisp cool air

comfy jeans with sweaters & scarves

hot cocoa before bed

flannel lounge pants while enjoying an evening at home

 

Babies bring smiles

Mr. Jaxon came to see me at work

oh where oh where is my fave time of year ?

all winter we long for long summer nights, bbq's and fun times with friends and family...then after a couple of months of the heat, we find ourselves looking and frantically searching for those crisp fall nights that lead us to jeans and scarves with coordinating jackets.  that's about where i am at the moment, looking forward to hot cocoa and roasted marshmallows by the fire wearing my most favorite jeans ripped just perfectly at the knee and my big sweatshirt...surrounded by friends and laughter. which will lead us to ghost and goblins of halloween and a certain lil boys "pirate themed" 5th birthday in november.  onto the most yummiest of holidays "Turkeyday". i absolutely love turkeyday and all the trimmings and thankfulness for everything the lord has blessed us with over the past year.  i can't wait for a cool off ! i have so many crafty ideas for decor during this "most wonderful time of the year", pinterest has been good to me. this year i definitely have many ideas in mind for christmas gifts and can't wait to get the ball rolling. i also have many ideas for home decor (money permitting).. we have at least 2 fall vacay's planned and i can't wait to spend that time with friends. would love to take the kids to the river walk again for the lights that hang and celebrate the christmas beauty.i love every aspect of the crisp, cool texas weather during my most favorite time of the year...
* dressing up in warm clothes, knee high boots, jeans, comfy sweaters, jackets and scarves, hot cocoa and marshmallows, trick or treating, off road rides and not being too hot, turkey and all the trimmings (extra pounds included), shopping and creating christmas gifts, christmas parties, christmas carols, thankful for all of gods blessings, friends and family time, christmas eve games* BINGO*, seafood feast, new years eve, warm fall colors, christmas crafts...............the list goes on and on !

I'm so ready for a vacay!

the Cayman Islands !  My absolute favorite vacay spot in the world...

I keep reading about all these vacations people are taking and while I'm super excited for all of you, I'm feeling a bit of jealousy as I am in need of a vacay !  we went camping at the beggining of July and it was nice but short. I long for the day to pack up a few days worth of clothes and head out to another destination, not corpus.  We will be heading to Sea World in a couple of weekends. I'm as excited as my kiddos are... I love to travel and see new things so the fact we will be visiting the new water park at sea world has me all giddy...I can not wait !

Time just flies.....

•Our baby girl turned 7 years old!
•We celebrated 8 years of marriage at the Miranda Lambert concert!
•ate dinner at Rainforest Cafe for Kylie's birthday!

8 years and counting!

Today my hubby and I celebrate 8 years of marriage. It's been one roller coaster ride but love will always prevail.

Momma got a new ride

Here is my 2007 Chrysler Aspen aka momma mobile ! I love it so much and the kids are crazy about it having a DVD player. Should make trips a lil better. Also has 3rd row so if they fight they will be separated haha.

mother's day 2012

mothers day 2012

this is me and my mom.  shes an amazing lady..she raised me and my sis as a single momma, everything she did was for us.  she taught me to be selfless.  i really am not sure what i'd do w/o her.

our mothers day was nice. we had a shrimp boil and fish fry complete with family and my best friend. the food was wonderful and my sis did most of it, thank you for that too.  i love being a mommy and am blessed to have 2 wonderful healthy, beautiful kiddos.

The weight is shedding....

Since I began my weight loss struggle, I've lost todate 34 lbs. that's exciting to me but I strive to lose 16 more lbs. no diets, no pills. Just good old fashion portion control and lots of water with the occasional work out. I'll get to my goal by summer !

Fun filled mudding weekend with my hubby, my bestie, & her Hubb ! It was so relaxin and fun.

MA dance comp and we rocked it !

Kylie sportin some dance attire !

TDS rocked MA Dance 2012 for our division !

RaNdOmNeSs

I have been mia on the blog front for quite some time, promised I'd blog at least once a week and well that's not working for me...Guess I got kinda bored with it

VEGAS BABY !

we took a trip with my mom, it was an amazing experience !

*saw the lights of the strip and they were glamorous

*saw the Bellagio Fountains, both during the day and at night ! so beautiful

*we visited Ceasar's Palace (it was a must on my list as Hangover is one of my fave movies), it was palatial

* visited the M&M factory, wow there's a lot of chocolate there

*"met" some celebs at Maddam Taussad's Wax Museum, so cool

*saw a very sexy and talented topless revue show, "Fantasy", took pics with the girls and got autographs (it was more for my hubby but I will admit I thoroughly enjoyed it ), also got to see Shamala Todd during the perfomance, she's a comedian who frequents Chelsea Lately...

*I've watied 3 years to an exhibit so amazing and we saw it, "the Bodies", acutal human bodies that have been preserved so well. It was more than amazing, especially for this medical buff

*Titanic was full of so much history and set up so well you get gooebumps walking through the museum

*the Luxor was our fave , we'll stay there next year !

*New York New York was simply tooo cool, we enjoyed a slice of New York style pizza and went to the Coyote Ugly club, super crazy !

*Fremont St. Experience was just the most facinating place.  So much to see and such good food / drinks.  mom did the zipline, wow !

*lot's of slots playin, in every casino we walked into

*the walking was crazy but I'd rather walk the Strip for my exercise than actually exercise

*the food was yummo everywhere

*you really can do alot in 2 days, however it's just not long enough to do it all !

*the flights were crazy and we were delayed / cancelled and delayed again, but the airport slots proved to be the best. OH and not to mention the Starbucks sporadically placed throughout the airport while you wait and wait for your flights !

* I can say I've been to the West Coast as we flew from Vegas to San Franciso on our way home (where we were delayed for a second and third time)

*we did so much I'm sure I've forgotten something

Vegas, what an awesome and crazy place !  We'll see ya next year !

TDS rocked the stage !

Our amazing Hotel the "Sheraton Gunter".   We were on the club level and we will stay here from now on !

1st place and 6th overall for their "Watch Me" dance !  They were amazing ....

They got 2nd place and 5th overall for "Pray" ~ justin beiber

here's part of the group for "Pray" with their awesome teachers

Ms. Teffany and Ms. Kim

We had such an amazing weekend winning so many awards ! I know everyone says winning isn't everything, well it is when these girls have worked their lil feet off to win !  They were so deserving of all the awards they earned.  Kylie was so wonderful and beautiful up on stage, like she was born for it.  All the money spent was so worth it when we saw her do her thing on stage.  This was her first competition and we have 3 more plus recital !  What an amazing job Teffany's Dance Studio has done with all of the girls !

love

~happy valentines day 2012 ~

and let the chaos begin !

it's so silly really, i used to watch the dance movies and wish i could be a part of that world of poise and grace, and free movement.  when i had my daughter i hoped she would be more into dance and she absolutely is.  she loves it and we are so proud of her for her hard work and dedication.  when her dance instructor told me she wanted kylie to be in the dance company, i cried, no bawled my eyes out cause i was so proud of her, after one year she made it to company.  if you haven't seen dance movies you have no idea how amazing it is to be included in this.  we thought about it, knowing financially it would be tough but we were willing to do it all for kylie, she deserved it.  when you become a parent the happiness and gains in life for your children are all that matter to you.  when we got the schedule of competitions teffany's dance studio would be attending, we got a lil scared, but kylie got excited.  we did a convention which was mainly learning choreography from some top dancers in the dance world.  now this weekend we tackle our first competition !  the girls have worked so hard and long hours to prepare for this and we definitely deserve to be on top !  this week, among working and valentines day, we will be prepping for this weekend in san antonio....props have to be finished & blinged out, costumes must be de-wrinkled and prepped for the travel, "all dance stuff" packed and dances not forgotten... let's go TDS dancers !

life as I know it is ............chaotic but I love it !

kylie & daddy went on a date ! complete with dinner, dancing and her first corsage

Maverick & Kylie

kylie & daddy on their way out for their date (so special)

sometimes this would help me feel better...stress can get the better of me and I try to push it behind me, it doesn't always stay there

He wants one so bad

JUMP dance convention !

here's to a busy but fulfilling weekend ...

we don't usually like to cram a ton of things into a weekend getaway, but how wonderful this past weekend was for us in Houston !  We went up for a dance convention for Kylie, called JUMP. it was amazing to be surrounded by the finest in dance.  Kylie learned dances from some top dancers / choreographers such as Katy Spreadbury, Nick Lazarini and Mike (can't remember his last name) and another guy named Hector.  kylie did so great learning her dances in such a short time and then got to perform them on a stage.  We got to see Melanie Moore as well ( she won season 8 on "so you think you can dance?")  We spent the weekend at our aunt's house and had a great time.  Saturday after our Jump experience my aunts and I took Kylie to Dylans candy bar, wowee is that place amazing!  Then a quick trip to bath and body works for some new soap and lotions and back to the house.  Kylie got to go to the park which is one of her fave things to do while in Houston.  While we were doing the girls thing all day, Mark and Mav went riding 4 wheelers with our wheelin family.  they had a blast as always.  As soon as they got back we went to Pappadeaux for dinner.  It was Mark's first time ever there and he was impressed.  the food was so yummo !  Sunday we got up and were a lil lazy for the morning.  We ate pancakes (with mint m&m's), eggs and sausage !  Then we finally got going, we met our good friends the Marshall's for some shopping at Gander Mountain, then lunch at Texas Roadhouse !  The food was soooo good and we all got so stuffed.  Then we decided to make an impromptu trip to Bass Pro Shop in Katy.  we got a later start home than mark usually likes to make, but it was so fun to just "fly by the seat of our pants" cause we rarely do that.  What a great weekend it was indeed....

Life as I know it ......was a wonderful action packed weekend !

Me and my baby boy. He's usually unruly but here he wanted to just take a simple pic with his momma. I quite often get fed up with his behavior but through "let's hear it for the boys" via MOB blog site, I want to change the way I see things through him. He can be super sweet and loving I just need to get that side of him to come out more often. I <3 my baby boy !