In the past few years I've developed aches and pains. Who hasn't right? It comes with getting old... I would just shrug them off as just that " getting old", pop a pain pill and go on about my day. Not the healthiest way about it, but the easiest.
At the end of August I was at work, doing my thing and I started getting what I thought was just a little hypoglycemic. I was dizzy, sweaty, pulse racing, nauseous...It wasn't something new for me to get that way early in the morning when I was getting ready for my surgeries for the day. It was early and I didn't eat a whole lot. Then all at once I just about fainted while scrubbed in for a case. If you know anything about surgery, staying sterile for the patients safety and health is basically the main goal. If you are about to pass out, while staying sterile you gotta know that's not possible. My partner for the day came in and relived me so I could address my weakness. At least that's what I saw it as at the time, a weakness. I am not the kind that will ask for help right away, I'm gonna do what I can to get the job done first, then maybe ask. Any who, I got out of the OR and drank some cold water, tried to cool off before I needed to get back at it. Luckily my partner tech ran that case so I could assist and not be stressed out as much. I started to panic a little when the feeling of passing out did not go away. Lunch time came and I took the first lunch so I could get some food in me. During lunch I was texting my mom and sis about my symptoms and experience that morning. They both immediately thought I had the C word. I shook it off as them being super paranoid but then went to my boss and told her about it. She sent me immediately to my locker and then to be tested. Which in turn meant I was gonna be out of work until the test came back.
That started the downward spiral to my health hell !!!!
My test came back negative, as I figured it would. I took the weekend to try and get better but my body wasn't having it. I was dizzier than the day it started, more nauseous and my zofran was not helping, headache from it all and a couple more symptoms that I'll spare you the details on. Nothing I did helped at all. I called into work Monday morning, which I never did unless it was bad, and this was bad. I made an appt with my new doctor to get to the bottom of this. I was miserable all weekend, I tried to do things and it made it worse. Come Monday, I get the kids lunches ready and went back to bed until I had to get up to go to the doctor. I had just recently switched doctors and so far so good.
The new doctor I found is amazing! Deeply cares about his patients and it shows. So I get to the dr and he suggests some tests and scans. I have never had a doctor work this fast for me, ever! That day I had bloodwork ordered and done, A CT scan ordered and done, all in the same day! I also got doctors orders to not return to work until the test results came back and I was on meds for at least 2 weeks. I was amazed at how fast this all got going. The next day we had a diagnosis for part of my problem. I was diagnosed with Diverticulitis of my transverse colon, Left Inguinal Hernia and Left kidney stones and renal cysts. Yes folks, nothing small for me! I go big or don't go at all. Being a surgical tech (I asssit surgeons in surgery, if you didn't know) I knew what this meant, surgery was in my future, just not sure when. My dr was sure we could treat the diverticulitis for the time being so we started to do so. The kidney thing would be watched and the hernia, well that will get fixed some day. A couple days pass and I am ordered to go get bloodwork done again. This is when the icing on the cake slipped off, so to speak. Getting out of my car to go into the lab, my stomach hurt so bad that I tried to overcompensate and drum roll please......hurt my back! Hurt my back so bad that it just about made me fall down in the parking lot. My back issues aren't new at all. I've had back issues for 22 years, but every now and then I do it BIG and this day was the day! I hobbled into the lab, got the blood drawn again and then made it home. I landed on the couch for the rest of the day. Ya'll this one was a bad one. When it was time for bed, I, in a 90 degree angle, hobbled into my room. The pain this time was excrutiating. The next day I made another dr appt in which he got me in stat for an x-ray to see what I had done to my back. I was then diagnosed with Degenerative Disc Disease (DDD). Oh yeah pain forever! I've been diagnosed with this before in my neck, now it's lower. I always wondered why my hips were on fire everyday and my toes are numb. Silly me, the discs in my lower back are just letting my vertebrae pinch the hell out of my nerves is all. This time it took me out for a good week and a half. Now before you go and ask or accuse me of not doing anything about the pain, I did. I saw my chiropractor, started laser light therapy and stretched on the daily, also used a TENS machine a friend lent me. I also just bought myself more time out of work to get better. With my job, I am on my feet for many hours a day and being on my feet in the situation I was in did not benefit me at all. So I went on FMLA and Short Term Disability so I could focus on me. In the medical field you go so long without taking care of yourself because your job is to take care of your patients. This was me, I hadn't been to the doctor in a hot minute, so everything caught up to me and God said to Chill and take it easy. So I did, for 6 weeks, I rested daily.
When I finally got the all clear to go back, the issues came back. The stomach pain and back pain hit me hard everyday. I just took more pain meds and dealt with it, like I had been doing for years. It was getting to the point that doing my job was not beneficial to anyone. My doctor cut back my hours at work and I went back on FMLA with less working hours. which is where I am at right now. I am dealing with the pain from my health but also dealing with mental depletion from being down and out because of this. I have appointments lined up to get more testing and figure out my next steps. The DDD I will have to just live with forever. I will not have back surgery because it is not beneficial to me. I am scared how much worse it will get. I am scared to move certain ways but I can't stop life.
I didn't go into complete detail, but I will say this, Take care of YOU! No job is worth your health, you are replaceable to them but your body is not replaceable to your family! If time off is what you have to do to figure it all out, then do it! My HR lady helped me so much in this area with work, so props to her. Is it scary, hell to yeah it is. Ask for help (I'm working on this one, it's a hard one for me). It's been risky financially but what good am I if I'm completely not able to function.
Mentally it's been the worst! Absolute worst! , The depression sinks in and you don't want to function, 1. for fear of the pain, 2. because no one understands, you feel alone and to blame for all that is going wrong right now, in this moment. No one understands because I do have a great life, a great husband and fabulous kids! We have the things and the stuff, but my health is in limbo, my pain tolerance is good on most days, but there are days that I need to just not do ...
Take care of you because in the end all you have is YOU!
No comments:
Post a Comment