He wants one so bad

JUMP dance convention !

here's to a busy but fulfilling weekend ...

we don't usually like to cram a ton of things into a weekend getaway, but how wonderful this past weekend was for us in Houston !  We went up for a dance convention for Kylie, called JUMP. it was amazing to be surrounded by the finest in dance.  Kylie learned dances from some top dancers / choreographers such as Katy Spreadbury, Nick Lazarini and Mike (can't remember his last name) and another guy named Hector.  kylie did so great learning her dances in such a short time and then got to perform them on a stage.  We got to see Melanie Moore as well ( she won season 8 on "so you think you can dance?")  We spent the weekend at our aunt's house and had a great time.  Saturday after our Jump experience my aunts and I took Kylie to Dylans candy bar, wowee is that place amazing!  Then a quick trip to bath and body works for some new soap and lotions and back to the house.  Kylie got to go to the park which is one of her fave things to do while in Houston.  While we were doing the girls thing all day, Mark and Mav went riding 4 wheelers with our wheelin family.  they had a blast as always.  As soon as they got back we went to Pappadeaux for dinner.  It was Mark's first time ever there and he was impressed.  the food was so yummo !  Sunday we got up and were a lil lazy for the morning.  We ate pancakes (with mint m&m's), eggs and sausage !  Then we finally got going, we met our good friends the Marshall's for some shopping at Gander Mountain, then lunch at Texas Roadhouse !  The food was soooo good and we all got so stuffed.  Then we decided to make an impromptu trip to Bass Pro Shop in Katy.  we got a later start home than mark usually likes to make, but it was so fun to just "fly by the seat of our pants" cause we rarely do that.  What a great weekend it was indeed....

Life as I know it ......was a wonderful action packed weekend !

Me and my baby boy. He's usually unruly but here he wanted to just take a simple pic with his momma. I quite often get fed up with his behavior but through "let's hear it for the boys" via MOB blog site, I want to change the way I see things through him. He can be super sweet and loving I just need to get that side of him to come out more often. I <3 my baby boy !

A big change in my life (well I"m gonna try)...

I found this qoute on a new blog site that I happend to find through my sister in law, called "the M.O.B. Society"....It's exactly how I feel sometimes (most times).

“Right now, I have nothing to give. Nothing. Nada. I’m tired and don’t feel good and honestly, I want a break from everything. It’s not that I want to leave my family, trade them in, or get new ones. I WANT to be with them. I just want a break from hard hearts, discipline, correction. I want their hearts changed and I can’t do it myself. Sometimes, the knowledge of this makes me feel hopeless and helpless.”

~A Weary Mom

"life, we learn too late, is in the living, in the tissue of every day and hour"

My hubby and I watched the new movie " Courageous " last night.  We've seen "Fireproof" and I think at the time we watched that one we were at our all time worst in our marriage.  We were going through a very tough time and "Fireproof" opened our eyes enough to see what we were doing to eachother and how poisonous our actions were.  WE changed together and were happy again.  Somethings that were not good for us had to be eliminated however and we've become stronger together as a couple.  This new one "Courageous" couldn't have come at a better time.  It helped me realize just how precious each and every moment is with our children, as if God were speaking to me again.  As you've read in earlier posts, my son is testing my patience daily and I just haven't been dealing with it very well.  This movie opened my eyes to what I already knew but needed reminding.  I know our time with our children is precious and that any minute it can be taken away in a blink.   Our children look up to us to help them in life, to guide them and teach them on this journey.  My mom did her absolute best and I now see that.  She rasied me and my sister in the Catholic church, we had to go every weekend and then had CCD class.  We'd go kicking and screaming most days and ccd was just social hour for me.  When I lost my Grandfather to Alzheimer's I gave up and became bitter towards God.  I quit church altogether and rarely prayed to him.  He took my Grandpa and I was angry about it.  I never realized till I became a parent just how important God has to be in our lives.  He has given us the gift of being a parent and he can take it at any moment.  I pray daily for help in every situation but the movie last night showed me that I don't accept everything he gives us, very easily.  I read a dialogue email yesterday that was asking God why he made this person have a horrible day.  His replies were because he was simply watching out for the bad that could've come, the unforseen bad, if he didn't present these "slow down" parts of the day.  Every day God gives us challenges and trusts us to deal with them the best we can while he helps us along, whether we understand his ways or not.  We have to trust in him, that he's got it covered.  It's funny, when I feel the most overwhelmed with everything going on through the day and my kids are my last nerve, one of them will say "mommy I love you so much" and what was it that I was so mad about again ? Again is that a sign that God is speaking to me, to stop and realize what I"m doing, how I'm acting.  That melts me.  I want to stop getting so upset with them, give us a cool off moment, then discuss the behavior before gettin so mad at them for their action.  I have to take the second and think about "what happend to cause the behavior", is this God working through them to help me realize something ?  I want to be a better person / parent for my kids, I want to guide them in the right direction to be a better person as well, I need to learn to trust in God that he will help me with this.  I have wanted to become more christian like but scared at what people would say and how they'd react after knowing me so well for so long.  My first step is to not care what anyone has to say anymore, they probably need God in their life too and are just scared or don't know where to start.  I need to do this for me, my children and my marraige.  I have to Thank my sister in law Vanessa.  She is the most christian woman, and I am honored that God brought her back in to Mark's life.  She is so good and even when handed a curve ball she knows God will help her through it, she's helped with this inspiration of change.  I also have to say I know people ( the least likely in the world) can change, a friend of mine has recently decided to accept Christ into his life and will become Catholic.  I have to admit I was blown away when he announced this to me and Mark, but I am so proud of him at the same time.  I am not sure where to start, I have gone back to church (a couple times), I plan to go weekly with my family (goal is to get my hubby to join us).  My daughter has started CCD, however I am not impressed with this program at our church.  I 'd like to see it more age appropriate than what they have going on right now.  I'd like to read more of God's word and pray with my children more, on thier level.  I'd like to also learn to be more patient and take in life before it passes me up.  It's funny how a movie's plot can change a life !

"With men it is impossible, but not with God; for with God all things are possible" ~Mark10:27

Life as I know it.....needs some changes quick !

Challenges known to parenting !

I've always wanted children, as far back as I can remember.  I wanted to be a young parent, so you can understand my rush to get married quickly.  Luckily that didn't come to difficult to me , since I was still dating my high school sweetheart 4 years out of high school when we started planning our wedding.  When we decided to start trying it was rather difficult to get pregnant.  When it finally happend, it was such a miracle and blessing.  My heart wasn't mine anymore, it belonged to my new lil baby.  Shes now 6 !  Then I decided it was time to have another one, the first was perfect.  I couldn't believe how all the love I felt for my first born was felt once again for my second born.  As a parent you always wonder " How can I love another child the way I love my first?"  It's so possible and can't be explained.  We tried and with assistance from modern day medicine, we were honored with another lil life to add to our family.  The second one was trouble from the second the decision was made to present day.  He's now 4 !  We love them too pieces !
I"ll be the first to admit that my children really are my pride and joy ! I love them to the moon and back, I would do everything in my power to protect them and do.  I want them to be successful at all they do and never lack the ambition to try (like I did growing up).  They inspire me daily to be a lil less serious and see the world through their eyes, to laugh more and be more fun.  Lately my son has been tryin our patience, what am I saying for the past year he's been doing this.  I was raised with discipline and believe in it, but have tried many other things as well to get him to behave.  Kylie rarely acted like the way he does.  He talks back constantly and is unruly.  I do spank ! I do time out ! I take things away ! Yes he's only 4, but by now he should know how to act and have some respect, especially when it's drilled into him on daily basis.  When he is told repeatedly to "stop whining and have manners" and does not listen, he must be punished.  It's hard to be a parent and follow through with constant discipline.  I do NOT like yelling and spanking, sometimes it doesn't work.  But neither does taking stuff away, time outs, going straight to bed, talking to him on his level, eye to eye discussions !  he continues to try me, every day.  I let him throw a fit so that I can collect myself, then when it's just more than enough, I discipline.  I used to be that mom that said " my kids will never act like that one", HA yeah I guess that's why I'm getting it ten fold.  "Brush your teeth", and he sits there looking at me whining and doesn't brush, what do you do ?  "Eat your food or your tummy will be hurting", he again looks at me and doesn't eat, what do you do? We tell him to get down from the table, get ready for a bath cause you're going to bed.  I hate sending him to bed with little food in his tummy, that's horrible, but he doesn't eat ! WHAT DO YOU DO?  He's not like this for others, just his parents !
Kylie is better, she trys to help us with him.  Sometimes, he listens to her ! She is the best big sister to him, I'm so proud.  She is easier even though she does have her moments of pure hatefulness and insanity, which usually happens when we are helping her with homework.  I took her ipod away because she failed a test.  She brought home a 100 on two tests, I thought it was wonderful till she showed me a bad grade on another.  She knows what she's doing and try's to do better.  I don't want her to be a slacker and not do her best.  She knows this...
  Parenting is hard, I"m no expert that is for sure !  I guess we have to just try our best and pray we do something right.  It's the hardest job ever and like others say, the most rewarding. I do not baby my kids nor have I ever.  The more independent they learn to be the better off they'll be in their futures is what I believe.  If you baby your children you teach them that someone will always be there to take care of it all for them.  How is that teaching them to be a good and independent adult ?  Yes I know they are just kids, but it all starts now !  I can't get them a job, I can't take their tests, I can't do all of their dirty work for them.  I can be there for them and help them, guide them but I can't make their decisions for them, no matter how badly I would like to.  I love my kids more than life itself.  They are always first and foremost in my life.  Everything I do is for them, they come before my wants and needs....
You will never know love more in life than you do when you're a parent !  You will never know trials and tribulations more until you're a parent! You will never know what it's like to worry and go insane more than you do when you're a parent !  You will never know how much a miracle God's love is till you are handed your baby for the first time !  You never know unconditional love till your child hugs you, tears in her / his eyes after you've just had to discipline them & you feel your heart break for doing this, but they still say "I love you mommy" !  You will never know how proud you can be till your child learns something new or reads you a book !  You will never know the pain and agony of an illness until you are taking care of your sick child and you can't do anything to make it all go away right now !  You'll just never know ........

Life as I know it is .....harder and more exhilerating  at the same time, as a parent !

My beautiful baby girl

My handsome baby boy

Left in my lunchbox by my sweet baby girl 

I'm officially a hunter .....

Down here in Texas, hunting is a way of life for some.  It's how we feed our family for months.  If you aren't for game hunting please do not read this, as I do not want to know your opinion of me for this choice I've made

For years growing up, right after Thanksgiving the men would load up and go hunt for 3 days while the women would pack up and go to San Antonio or Houston for a weekend of shopping and eating.  Then we'd all come back home and start processing the deer the men had shot.  I remember my Grandma and Grandpa covering the entire kitchen counter with deer and their knives for processing it.  At one end would be the grinder for sausage, and ice chests lined up in the walkway of the kitchen.  Those were the great ol days !  I've always wanted to hunt just never thought I'd actually get my chance at it.  I grew up with hunters, had friends that are hunters and married a hunter.  I've sat in the blind and watched, looked for deer everywhere we go on trips in the country.  I guess you can say it was a passion.  Yes deer are beautiful creatures of course, however they are and always have been a source of food.  This past weekend we went up to my aunt and uncles ranch in Medina with the intentions of my hubby shooting a deer for us to bring back and process so we could eat for a good while.  Saturday started out with riding one of their horses.  We all got our turn and it was exhilarating.  I hadn't been on a horse since I was a kid ( I love to ride), so this was a treat for me.  Then my hubby has been wanting me to shoot his guns for so long and here was my chance.  First he let me shoot his 22 rifle, a small one, not a big bang or recoil.  Then it was onto the big gun, 700 Remington.  Yeah I know this name has no meaning to you, it meant nothing to me, it was just a big gun to me.  Well little did I know how big this would be.  A big bang, a huge recoil ( it's huge for someone 5'4" and with no big gun shooting experience).  It hurt, not gonna lie, I said "If I had breast implants the damn thing woulda busted", but the pain wore off, the initial shock eventually did too.  Then my hubby said good you can shoot the deer now.  I thought for a few minutes about it and felt a lil bad because that would be taking his shot and he hasn't killed a deer in a few years.  I didn't want to be selfish and take that from him.  But then he kept telling me how he knew I could do it and just kept giving me the confidence I needed to do it.  We didn't see much of anything but white tail deer that night, we wanted an AXIS.  They are so pretty !  So the decision was made I would do it (my hubby basically said I would be shooting, not him) and he would clean it up !  6:30am came and we got up (in the 30 degree weather) and got dressed (me 2 shirts, a fleece pullover, a wool jacket, jeans and a blanket.  to think I wanted to just stay in my pj's) pulled on our boots and went to the front porch....Haha we don't sit in a blind at my aunt and uncles, we sit on the front , side or back porch to hunt.  It was clearly still dark so we sat and waited for the sun to light up the earth.  Finally it was coming up and there were deer.  about 6 of them in front of us, eating the corn from the feeder.  I found one that was perfect for me and she was closer than the others (108 ft away).  I sat and watched her snack on the protein block provided for her.  Then it was time ! My hubby helped me here, getting the gun in place and I scoped her out.  He kept telling me to take my time and breathe, make sure you shoot her in the right spot, find it and pull the trigger.   I did this and BANG ! It was done....I won't go into detail about the next 3 minutes however it seemed to take forever.  After all of the "I'm proud of you's" he gave me we then got our 4 year old son dressed and went to look for the deer.  My uncle drove the mule and Mav down to it and she was loaded up, pics taken and then it was time to get to cutting up.  We then finally got home and my hubby and I sat down to process the deer I had shot.  We'll be eating pretty well for a while.  The hide will be tanned so that I can remember this day, my first shot ! 

I was proud of myself for being able to do this.  That may sound sadistic but it was food for my family, that's how I had to look at it.  I grew up with hunters so now I was offiacially just that " a hunter"  I know my Grandpa would be proud.  I shot right where I was aiming and the funniest thing was one of my uncles (he likes to critique everything and not always in a positive way, kinda like my grandpa), couldn't find a negative thing to say about it, so he started nitpicking the small things that really didn't matter.  But he finally said Congratulations and I felt so much more excited.  I know to some this is a stupid and disgusting sport but to me it's a way to (yes I'll say it again) feed my family ! 

Life as I know it is ....full of hunting pride & going to be full of awesome venison dinners for a while !

WELCOME 2012 !

I welcome 2012 with open arms, praying this year is way better than 2011...
We rang in the new year with a trip to see our wheelin family in Magnolia, Texas which is pretty much the mid point for us all.  Spent 2 days ridin which was just like heaven for me after not riding for more than a year since I was pregnant all of 2011.  It was so refreshing and relaxin to be on the muddy trails in the woods of East Texas.  The kids went with us and totally fell in love with it all. 

this year I want to / will do:
* make a pinterest craft once a week
* pay off some debt
* will be our first trip ever to Vegas
*do more home improvements
*lose the 30lb tire around my belly
* grow out my hair
* become a self taught photographer (even if it's just of my kids)
*breathe
* do more with my kids
*eat healthier (we've already started this last year but will carry on with it )
* realize that the love of family is important but the love from "real" friends can get you through alot
*try a new recipe weekly (haven't started this one yet)
* spend more educational time with my kids. be it studying or just teaching them new things
* get my house in better order, maybe a change ?! hmmm
* throw some great parties (baby shower , birthday's)
* not give a shit about stuff that tends to bother me the most (if you know me you know what I mean)
* be more happy about the blessings I have
* be more adventurous


These are just a few things. I"m sure I can come up with a ton more, but for now this shall do....
We say every year that "this one will be better than the last", Mostly without making it so, well not this year, I will be more organized, social and happier than before and a better mom than I have been....I will also keep up with this blog weekly whether it's new pics or a quick insane moment of random thoughts...
Life as I know it ......will be better in 2012 !