where oh where .....

the fog my brain won't get out of

ever feel as if your brain has gone on vacay ? i have felt this way for a few months now and i'm so over it already. you momma's know what i'm talking about, the "pregnancy fog" that every non momma believes does NOT exsist, they say it's just an excuse (just wait they'll get it soon enough), well yes it sure does and apparently the more pregnancies you have the more likely it is to NOT lift...

 i used to be so organized (to my standards anyway) and had it all together. lately i feel like i don't ever know what day it is and forget about planning stuff. people would come to me to help plan things, ask my advice etc. ..ha that has long been forgotten . my list's don't get done simply cause i do not make them anymore. my thoughts have left the head! i mentioned a day ago in my blog that all my thoughts and ideas are jumbled up in my head, well yeah they are cause i forget them or they get stored to far in the back that they are closed. this fog that won't lift pulls me into a deep "ugh" feeling ( my infamous ugh, is not a wonderful place), the feeling of a funk coming on, washing me out to the rest of civilization, the mood swing no one wants to receive. i do not like feeling this way and try to pull out of it. use to i could just push it aside and pre occupy myself with something but that doesn't happen anymore. i feel so useless and helpless. we don't talk about this feeling, but refer to it as just that. 

there are so many things i would love to do but they don't get done or started. that doesn't make me too chipper. i've read all of these blogs of how people are so happy and creative, I WANT THAT. i wanna feel like i can create things with no avail. i want a good challenge, yes that's what i need a good challenge to get my mind pulling my ideas out of the filing cabinet. to get my mind juices flowin. it doesn't matter what the idea is it needs to be executed,,,,,,now !

a moment of clarity needs to come to me ! (soon)

the clarity i need