Grandpa

10 years ago today we were planning on bringing you a bunch of balloons and a cake for your birthday. I remember sitting there in your hospital room with aunt Valerie and we were plotting this big party (of course it'd be big look at our family) and were pretty excited about it. We were so sure you were listening and not liking it at all but that's just how we were, go big or go home! Then we all went home with our jobs for the next day, who was bringing what. After midnight I got the horrible, most devastating news ever, that god finally took you back. My life had changed with that one phone call. The next few days were a blur and I was very upset as no one in the family would let me help with or do anything in any kind of planning. See they saw me as just another grandkid and that's it. No body knew exactly what you were to me. I didn't just lose a grand father, I lost the one constant as a father figure in my life. You were the one helping me with my homework daily (math lessons on the kitchen cabinet still is one of my best homework memories), you were the one who talked to me like a father should, you were the one teaching me life lessons and disciplining me like a father should. You were the one giving me big hugs everyday. You were the one dancin with me on Saturday mornings to polka. You made it to my high school graduation and every queens contest and helped me with livestock show each year along with mom. I cherish every second of time I had with you. I hate that you couldn't be there when I walked down the isle and I so wish you were here today for your great grandchildren that ask about you pretty often. We have pictures of you and take them to your headstone. I'm sure you know this as you are with us even though we can't see you. When I need someone to help guide me or take care of me I always ask that you and god are there and I know you are. It's not fair that your great grandchildren don't get to spend their summers with you building things. It's not fair that they have to know you in pictures, that maverick can't shake your hand and you can't teach him the art of woodwork. It's not fair that Kylie can't dance with you because as I'm sure you know that girl loves to dance and twirl. They would love you as much as I do I know it. There's not a day that goes by that you aren't on my mind. You're in my heart always. I'm saddened cause my kids do not get to experience the love of a grandfather like I did. But I am at peace knowing you are looking over them and protecting them. Be their conscience and help them to make good decisions as they get older. Tonight we will all go to church and celebrate your life without you physically there but I know you will be there in spirit sitting next to your beautiful wife, smiling upon all of us there. I love you and miss you everyday.