I found this qoute on a new blog site that I happend to find through my sister in law, called "the M.O.B. Society"....It's exactly how I feel sometimes (most times).
“Right now, I have nothing to give. Nothing. Nada. I’m tired and don’t feel good and honestly, I want a break from everything. It’s not that I want to leave my family, trade them in, or get new ones. I WANT to be with them. I just want a break from hard hearts, discipline, correction. I want their hearts changed and I can’t do it myself. Sometimes, the knowledge of this makes me feel hopeless and helpless.”
~A Weary Mom
"life, we learn too late, is in the living, in the tissue of every day and hour"
My hubby and I watched the new movie " Courageous " last night. We've seen "Fireproof" and I think at the time we watched that one we were at our all time worst in our marriage. We were going through a very tough time and "Fireproof" opened our eyes enough to see what we were doing to eachother and how poisonous our actions were. WE changed together and were happy again. Somethings that were not good for us had to be eliminated however and we've become stronger together as a couple. This new one "Courageous" couldn't have come at a better time. It helped me realize just how precious each and every moment is with our children, as if God were speaking to me again. As you've read in earlier posts, my son is testing my patience daily and I just haven't been dealing with it very well. This movie opened my eyes to what I already knew but needed reminding. I know our time with our children is precious and that any minute it can be taken away in a blink. Our children look up to us to help them in life, to guide them and teach them on this journey. My mom did her absolute best and I now see that. She rasied me and my sister in the Catholic church, we had to go every weekend and then had CCD class. We'd go kicking and screaming most days and ccd was just social hour for me. When I lost my Grandfather to Alzheimer's I gave up and became bitter towards God. I quit church altogether and rarely prayed to him. He took my Grandpa and I was angry about it. I never realized till I became a parent just how important God has to be in our lives. He has given us the gift of being a parent and he can take it at any moment. I pray daily for help in every situation but the movie last night showed me that I don't accept everything he gives us, very easily. I read a dialogue email yesterday that was asking God why he made this person have a horrible day. His replies were because he was simply watching out for the bad that could've come, the unforseen bad, if he didn't present these "slow down" parts of the day. Every day God gives us challenges and trusts us to deal with them the best we can while he helps us along, whether we understand his ways or not. We have to trust in him, that he's got it covered. It's funny, when I feel the most overwhelmed with everything going on through the day and my kids are my last nerve, one of them will say "mommy I love you so much" and what was it that I was so mad about again ? Again is that a sign that God is speaking to me, to stop and realize what I"m doing, how I'm acting. That melts me. I want to stop getting so upset with them, give us a cool off moment, then discuss the behavior before gettin so mad at them for their action. I have to take the second and think about "what happend to cause the behavior", is this God working through them to help me realize something ? I want to be a better person / parent for my kids, I want to guide them in the right direction to be a better person as well, I need to learn to trust in God that he will help me with this. I have wanted to become more christian like but scared at what people would say and how they'd react after knowing me so well for so long. My first step is to not care what anyone has to say anymore, they probably need God in their life too and are just scared or don't know where to start. I need to do this for me, my children and my marraige. I have to Thank my sister in law Vanessa. She is the most christian woman, and I am honored that God brought her back in to Mark's life. She is so good and even when handed a curve ball she knows God will help her through it, she's helped with this inspiration of change. I also have to say I know people ( the least likely in the world) can change, a friend of mine has recently decided to accept Christ into his life and will become Catholic. I have to admit I was blown away when he announced this to me and Mark, but I am so proud of him at the same time. I am not sure where to start, I have gone back to church (a couple times), I plan to go weekly with my family (goal is to get my hubby to join us). My daughter has started CCD, however I am not impressed with this program at our church. I 'd like to see it more age appropriate than what they have going on right now. I'd like to read more of God's word and pray with my children more, on thier level. I'd like to also learn to be more patient and take in life before it passes me up. It's funny how a movie's plot can change a life !
"With men it is impossible, but not with God; for with God all things are possible" ~Mark10:27
Life as I know it.....needs some changes quick !
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